Good morning God. I’ve already talked to you some this morning but it was before I had my coffee and I was grumpy. I wanted to feel grateful earlier, but mostly I just felt annoyed at having to wake up to my alarm. So I threw out a quick “Thank you for this day” but I didn’t really mean it. And now, I am here with you wanting my heart to be thankful, but I’m still not there.
So I am at the conclusion already this morning that I need you. I need you to help me. Help me understand how to be grateful… really deep down inside, full of heartfelt gratitude, kind of grateful. Because I do know that I have so much to thank you for. You are the Father of lights and all good gifts come from you. I know you are good, but my thoughts are still struggling to focus. Instead, I grouse in my head about being tired or having a sinus infection, as though every detail of my life should be perfect or else you are not good.
You saw how my child groused at me this morning when I told her to take a bath, even though baths are hot and soapy pure heaven on earth! So even though I may not understand why you tell me some things, I do trust that you have a reason for everything that you let happen in this life. And even though I want to understand WHY about everything, I may not be ready for the truth yet. You may be waiting to reveal something deeper by letting me go through something I don’t like.
So really, this morning I need a bath. I need you to take my heart and cleanse it so that I can see more clearly how you bless me and give me more than enough for this life. I can’t see how to be grateful on my own, but you know my heart and you know the how and why of what is keeping me back from knowing your goodness intimately this morning. I really want to be close to you, but when I’m complaining about what you haven’t given me, I am missing an opportunity to recognize who you are.
How can I really know you if I don’t really care to see the good in you? When I have a relationship with someone who only sees bad in me, it is hard to believe that they really know me deeply. So how do you feel, God, when I throw a quick and lackluster “Good Morning” up at you while harboring resentment toward you and doubting your character?
So I’m asking you to open the eyes of my heart and take my self-imposed blindness away. Let me see the good that is who you are. Let me focus on you and how you leave everything time and again to run to me when I am weak and lost. Let me see your wings that cover over me like a baby chick when I am terrified and alone. Let me focus on your love that never fails and never leaves or forsakes me. Let me breathe in deeply and thank you for this life you have given me and these moments where I see you more clearly and my heart fills with gratitude for a good God! Let me see more of YOU and less of me.
Let me wake up praising you for who you are. You are good!
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