Hold On To Me

Hold On To Me

Abba it’s amazing that you made it so easy for me to just talk with you, like you’re just a friend I am calling. And it’s crazy that I don’t make time for this every day,  considering what it cost you to tear the veil that separated us. But I’m here now in your presence because you made it possible for me to come to you. And Abba Father I do need you. I need you more than I can say, more than I am willing to admit most days.

I’ve Run From You

I’ve run from you before when I’ve messed up. I feel ashamed when I don’t get things right. Just like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, I want to hide from you and cover over my sins with fig leaves. But this year I promised that I would run to you when I mess up, even if I feel unworthy or like I’m too much of a disaster to come to you. 

Your Love Never Fails Me

No matter what I’ve done, your love never fails. You run to me with your arms open wide even when I’ve chosen to put on the rags of a slave. You wrap your arms around me and tell me how much you love me. You remind me that I am your child and my sins are paid for. There is no need for fig leaves. You’ve known about everything I would ever do since the beginning of time. And you chose to love me and die for me anyway. I mattered to you when you took your last breath, Jesus. I mattered enough that you continued to suffer rather than call down legions of angels to save you. Your love for me is more than I can fathom. 

But Why Do I Keep Messing Up?

So I’m here again, Lord, because I keep making the same mistakes and I don’t know why. And I’m running to you again, a child feeling like a failure. I can’t seem to get this life right. I can’t seem to pull it together and be the person I want to be. Every time I focus on getting rid of my sin, it just seems to chase me down and I choose the things of this world over you. So God instead of focusing on my sin, I’m gonna focus on you.

Who You Are Makes Me Who I Am

  • Your goodness covers my failures. 
  • Your faithfulness means that you never leave or forsake me. I’m the one who leaves you time and again.
  • Your lovingkindness means that when I mess up again and hurt others, you’ve already forgiven me. You welcome me back into your arms. 
  • Your mercy means no matter what I did, you are never going to give up on me. 
  • Your grace means that you still shower all of your gifts on me even though I never measure up to perfection. I am complete in you.
  • Your forgiveness of my sin through Jesus’ blood means that you don’t even see my sin. You’ve already placed it all as far away as east is from west. 

I Lay It Down

I lay all of my selfishness, my failures, my pride, my flesh, my burdens too deep to speak of, my selfishness down. I lay it all at your feet God.  I know that you carry me when don’t know where I’m going. Your groans, Holy Spirit, intercede at the throne room for me when I’m in dark places and don’t even know how to pray. When my prayers seen to bounce off the ceiling, God, You are still working in my life!

So I Will Praise You Forever

I will praise you forever! I’ve only just begun to praise you here in this earthly realm! There is an eternity of praising you awaiting me. I can’t wait until the day I can praise you knowing I will never will fall again and leave your presence. There is coming a day when I will always be with you and will not ever run from you again.

But until that day God, hold me tight, close to you under your wings. Keep me in your presence. Help me to run to you instead of running to other things or people when I am empty. Help me to reach out to you when I’m caught yet again in a cycle of sin, when I get myself bound up in chains. 

Remind Me that I Am Free to Love

You saved me so that I could be free to worship, free to come before you. Yet, when I let my sins bind me up, I get too tied up in chasing my desires and forget who I am in you. I forget that you sacrificed so much to give me this freedom from a continual desire for something other than you. I don’t want to look for something other than you to fill me. 

Remind Me Who I Am In You

So when I look to others or things in this world to make my life complete, remind me who I am. I am a child of the King. I do not serve the things of this world. I serve a risen Savior. You conquered death and the grave. You conquered my fears and let me find the place where I know your perfect love that love casts out every fear. 

Show Me the Path You Have For Me

I know you’re leading me now. You’re showing me the next step. God, I want to step out on the water and take that step. No matter where it leads or what it may seem to cost me, I know that your ways are higher and better than mine. You see what I can’t.  So when I hear your still small voice telling me to walk in your way, help me to follow. Help me be the sheep who knows your voice and knows to trust you through it all. Help me see that I am never alone. You are always with me even until the ends of the earth. 

Thank you Jesus for the cross, for your sacrifice, for your all-consuming love for me. Holy Spirit, help me not to grieve you. I ask you to abide in me and give my prayers meaning even when I don’t have the words. Abba Father bring this child close to your love daily. Run to me with your love and never let me go.

In Jesus name,

Amen

Feeling Judged? There is a Way Out.

Feeling Judged? There is a Way Out.

We all deserve respect as human beings with our own unique perspectives and feelings and issues and yet, most of us don’t feel respected. We feel the eyes of judgment; the accusing voices reside in our heads and at our places of worship, our schools, and our workplaces.

We may go to the grocery store and see someone giving us a once over with their eyes or get a formal evaluation at work that tells us exactly where we are going wrong. We check out social media and see a comment directed at our lack of empathy or our lack of style or perhaps someone comes right out and tells us that we have major issues. We may have a conversation that doesn’t go the way we thought it would, so we re-evaluate every word thinking about how we messed up.

If we grew up in church, we were taught that grace covers our sin. What we probably were not taught is that grace covers the sin so completely that we do not have to go around worrying constantly about whether we have messed up or not! God is not looking down on us and trying to see which sins we have committed and judge us. He doesn’t even SEE our sin when we trust Jesus! As soon as we trust him, ALL of our sins are forgiven and God casts them into a sea of forgetfulness. They are further from him than east is from west! Why would he want us focused on our sin when he doesn’t even look at it??

We waste time feeling guilty thinking about something that God never tells us to look at. He says to believe him, trust him, and follow him. He says to come to him with all of our burdens and give them to him. When we talk with Him about what we have done that we feel guilty about, he frees us from judgment and condemnation! He doesn’t want us to dwell on our mistakes, but instead be free from the fear and condemnation that our mistakes cause!

An addiction cycle is when we mess up and feel guilty and then mess up again BECAUSE we feel guilty and unworthy. God doesn’t want us to live there in a place of defeat chained to our habitual mess-ups. He wants us to have the freedom to walk away from whatever is not good for us and others.

Living out of agreement with our conscience is not good for us. We have the ability to know what is right and wrong because of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Before humanity ate of the tree, we lived in perfect connection with God. There was no guilt or condemnation or fear between us! But after the eating of the fruit, the connection was broken.

We began to look at what separated us from God instead of trusting him and wanting to walk and talk with him. Instead, our natural instinct when we mess up is to run from God because we are afraid of condemnation. However, as humans living in the 2020’s, our focus does not need to be sin. We need to put the focus where it belongs – on God himself and his solution to the problem: Jesus. Jesus came to rescue us from the knowledge of good and evil and from the judgments we make about ourselves and others!

Jesus is the one we are following. Did he ever once ask his disciples to look at what they had done and be ashamed? Did he ask them to overthink their clothes, their habits, their food and drink? Did he make everything legalistic and about doing the “right” thing? No.

Jesus made life about following Him. And HE followed His Father’s heart. God the Father led Jesus where he needed to be, all the way to the cross where Jesus showed us the meaning of sacrificial love. He fulfilled the law precisely because WE COULD NOT. He fulfilled the law in his own perfection so that we could be at peace with the fact that we will never be perfect as a human here on this earth. We don’t have to try to be perfect and sit around feeling bad about where we mess up.

God created us for perfect connection with him. When we ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, we began to judge good and evil for ourselves instead of trusting God by walking and talking with him daily. Jesus came to change all of that! We can once again have perfect connection with our Creator, but we don’t get there by being perfect. We get there because we trust that Jesus was perfect and he sacrificed his perfection for us. So we can stop judging ourselves and others continually. Instead, we rely on his voice and trust him to define good and evil once again.

We can once again have perfect connection with our Creator, but we don’t get there by being perfect.

We need to keep our relationship with Jesus at the forefront of who we are. When our conscience tells us we have screwed up, we can acknowledge it and run to our Father and tell him how disappointed we are with ourselves. And HE tells us that he loves us anyway because of Jesus. When we realize what Jesus did to set us free from fear and condemnation, we see how much He loves us and we accept the gift of that freedom.

We step into our purpose each time we follow his voice. And when we run to him and not from him, we find that he is always there loving us. We step into our purpose when we ignore the stares and whispers of those that sit in judgment, when we change our thoughts to loving affirmations rather than condemning and harsh judgments of ourselves and others.

So let them look. Let them judge. When our own mind condemns us, let God have those struggles and let them go. We are free from condemnation in Christ Jesus. We follow Jesus. Judgments of our person are not something we need to pay attention to. It is not their business to judge us. It is not OUR business to judge ourselves! It IS God’s business to judge us, but he DIED so that he wouldn’t have to judge us! Instead, he judged Jesus in our place. God chooses love. Perhaps we should think about doing the same for ourselves and others

Image by Myriam Zilles from Pixabay

Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith?

Galatians 3:2 ESV

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.

Romans 8:1-2 ESV

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:11-12 ESV

Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved

Acts 16:31 ESV

if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Romans 10:8-10 ESV

When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

John 19:30 ESV